6 Poems About What I've Learned This Year

where would I be

without a mother

who

without hesitation

only ate half her plate to

bring home leftovers for me

who

never told me the diminishing space

between my thighs was taking up too much space

who

never left my side in the darkest times

even when I told her I wanted her to

where would I be

without a father

who

without hesitation

took off his coat in the freezing cold

if I uttered as much as a cough

who

could never remember my friends’ names

but always made sure we were well-fed

who

uprooted his life to work for a company

that did not give him the recognition he deserved

just so I could have the education I wanted

to the parents

who tirelessly plant the seeds

so we only receive the harvest:

thank you.

-I don’t tell you this enough

on the days that

you feel like your world

is spinning and crumbling

on the days that

you feel so lost

you feel like life

will never find you again

on the days that

feel like

your demons are

going to win this time

seek out the people

who radiate sunshine

whose smiles are so infectious

that everything seems okay

even for a second

hug the animals that

love every fiber of your being

no matter who you are

or what you have done

or what you will do

look for the trees that

have seen every ugly thing

that humankind has done

and continues to give us air

that is the beauty of life

just your existence

has the potential of

changing someone’s life

-your existence makes me so happy

isn’t it funny how

we tell our kids to

treat each other the way

you want to be treated

but we forget to tell that

to ourselves?

-maybe we are hypocrites

i’m so sorry

for the way I told you

you can’t wear those pants

because you look fat

and nobody likes a fat girl

for the way I doubted you

undermined you

believed that you were

just an absolute idiot

for the way I hurt you

and I wanted you to suffer

so I scratched you

until you bled

and especially the way

i made you feel like

you weren’t worthy of

breathing this air

can we be friends?

-a letter to myself

when I finally told my body

that i wanted to make amends

it let out a long sigh and

sobbed tears of joy

how can I not love

the way I dance and twirl and sing

obnoxiously laugh until my abs hurt

eat a bowl of my mom’s kimchijigae clean

and then go back for more

what a feeling it is

to finally appreciate your home

and see it as perfect

-i don’t have clear skin and my stomach folds in places I don’t want it to but I am so thankful for every part of it

how have I gone my whole life

without knowing that

the way that I hated and criticized myself

fogged my vision so that i

did the same thing to everyone else

the day that I fell in love with myself

i fell in love with everyone else too

and i’m so sorry I ignored your beauty

until now

-love yourself, love others